I have two blogs out there and I get mixed up with which one I'm in. I need to move the other one over to this one so I just have one. It's a tuesday night. Pat's asleep on the couch and he's snoring which drives me nuts! I didn't leave the house today. Pat and Dave went to the movie to see Star Trek. Dave's on vacation this week. Still no job for Pat, but he has had a couple interviews so at least we have something out there on the burner to hope for. Other good news is the loan company we have our house with offered us a deal. We pay half the normal payment, $650 for four months and then they'll refinance the loan. Pat just paid the first payment of $650 last week and he said it felt so good! When I told my sister about it, she said it probably felt good because it gaurentees us a roof over our head and  because it means that we can't be booted out! I myself, think it was more a feeling of pride that felt so darned good! It's hard to hold onto your pride when you're in the position we're in. Not being able to pay the credit cards or the house and paying the other bills late does not make you beam with pride. Just the opposite. It makes me feel ashamed. We've no one to blame but ourselves for this mess that we're in, BUT we never in a million years dreamed it would be as hard as it is for Pat to find work. We assumed he would get a job as soon as he started the search. Boy were we wrong!
I did have some excitement going on this past week. I put in for a reality show, a game show that is called "Family Room". The app asked for familes who are fun and crazy, who can bicker but make up. I figured my family was perfect for this show! We definately fit the crazy bill! When I got a call from the casting director telling me he was interested, I called my sister and brothers to run it by them. They all said they would do it if we got chosen. I let the casting director know this and he then interviewed us. Well, he interviewed me, Chris, and Jim. He never was able to get ahold of Rick. We had planned on the eight players being me, Chris, Randy, Rick, Liv, Jim, Sherri, and Taylor. We were told that the show would be held in a family room setting and we'd have to put together puzzles and furniture...for instance an IKEA desk or table. We would be playing against another family of eight and had the chance to win up to $25,000! Our flights to L.A. and our hotel and food were going to be paid for too. To me it was a win/win deal! A free trip (for two to four days) to L.A., and a chance to win some money! not to mention the excitement of being on t.v.! I was pleasantly shocked when my sister and brothers all said they were in for it! The casting director called four or five times...he did interviews over the phone and asked me to send him pictures of all of us. When he saw them he said we were his favorite family and he really wanted to get us on the show. Things were moving fast. Another woman who works for the show called yesterday and said she wanted to start booking us. She said we have an amazing family! Which of course, I have to agree with! I love my sister and brothers so much! I was thrilled and started daydreaming about our trip. I could just imagine dad looking down on us four kids, his four kids, and laughing at all of us! He loved seeing the four of us together. We always act crazy when we get together. We revert back to our childhood and have so much fun! Anyway, to make a long story short, Rick opted out first and then Chris. Which i respect, i would never want them to feel obligated. I respect their choice, but i do not understand it. It made me sad. It was a diversion from my dwelling on our financial situation and Pat not having a job. It gave me something to dream about again. I looked at it like a four day all expense paid vacation. Lord knows we can't afford to go on one now...a trip to the mall to eat auntie annes pretzles is as good as it gets for us these days..so a trip to L.A. sounded like well...what it was...too good to be true! In the end I would never want my sister and brothers to do anything that they weren't comfortable with, but it still makes me sad! Oh well...life goes on and I can only pray and hang onto hope that Pat will find a job soon and then we can afford to pay for our own vacation! I really hope Chris, Rick and Jim and their spouses all join us. I don't think they realize how much I need them now. I always need them and I always will love them, but when you're going thru a rough time you need your family more. Not for their money, but for their reassurance that everything is going to be okay! and for their company and love!